Brenna

ha, so i got my AP magazine in the mail today, no cell phone yet, it has Chiodos on the cover, and i must admit, i love them 395894330 billion times more than i did before after reading the article.
chyeah, those boys own.

anywho, it seemed like everytime i turned the page, BAM there's a tour with one of my favorite bands. of course they come to boston, around all the same times as the others. so its like 'what the hell, that ain't cool.' ..so now i've only got 4 choices.

1. Escape The Fate and Blessthefall, at the palladium.
2. Fall Out Boy at Tsongas
3. Underoath at the palladium
4. Chiodos, at Roxy.

seriously though, i know fer sure, Fall Out Boy is an automatic. and i would really love to see Escape the Fate again, but there's no ride there or back, so fuck that.

whatever.

anyway.

you know how you have one of those awkward days?
well i have awkward summers. :] chyeah, and i'll have 7 people back me up on that.

anywho i just felt like rambling about Chiodos, and Concerts and now i'm off to do something more eventful.

today, was simply amazing.
I hung out with Thea, Caitlin and Colleen and Mikey.
Then Colleen had to go to volley ball, so Caitlin and thea and i went swimming, then invited Alex.

it was wicked fun, we ended up getting dinner at chilis and ice cream at coldstones, it was a blast, i want more summer nights like that before school starts next week, seriously.

:]

here are some picture's i've drawn over the months:

two more weeks of summer and I'm still insecure, but that's what happens when the boy you like[d] finds you intimidating.
FYI: I'm as intimidating as a cute fluffy rabbit.

I've been getting too many compliments for me to handle, and i don't take them well so this is for anyone who complimented me:

I would like to clarify that i am UGLY, FAT, NOT WORTH A PIECE OF TIME, STUPID, NOTHING, A FAILURE, A DISAPPOINTMENT and i don't understand how anyone could just tell me i'm "gorgeous, cute, beautiful, hot, adorable" and blah blah blah, i know the TRUTH. so please don't lie to me.

and now i'm done whining and being stupid.

so this weekend is really uneventful..

its really boring, and my brother doesn't stay around and hang out with me, he goes out and doesn't come home for a while... i asked him if he'd watch Hannibal Rising with me and he said yes, then he called his girlfriend and ignored me the rest of the night. pssh it just sucks.

i've been stressing out and i have no clue why, and i'm at the point where i'm gonna rip my hair out, but whatever.

that could also be because i'm bored out of my fucking miiinddd.

and i love how recently i've been catching people in lies, that are way over their head, like seriously, don't lie so freakin much, maybe then you'd be considered a good friend.

ahh i'm just venting about nothing and thats nothing new, right? right.

<3 yeah i'm ending this journal before i keep venting. :]

i hate not being able to help my friends. For once i'd like to know the advice i'm giving is useful in their situation you know? i try to give advice to stuff i've never been through, but who am i to give advice on something i know nothing about? i don't want to be the one that gave them a wrong choice that fucks them over..

i don't know i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm not feeling like a great friend recently, because i don't know what to say anymore..

i have my own problems, but i try not to focus on them, i shrug them off or hold them in until i burst, but if it helps a friend or two its worth it..

i just made it seem like i was unselfish, pssh i'm merely human, but i'm just afriad to look at my mistakes and problems. i'm afraid of failure i'm afraid of a lot of things recently, and i'm changing as a person, i can feel it, i can see it, and i don't know if its for the better..

Drama these days is a lot more complicated than back in pre school, when the biggest issue we had was 'so and so wont play with me' or 'so and so stole my crayon', i guess that's why kids don't have a care in the world, they have it so easy, and then they grow through stages and thing everything's out to get them and blah blah blah, honestly, i don't think like that, sure, once and a while i'll blame someone other than myself, but i'm a stron believer of 'everything happens for a reason'.

that's probably the only thing i believe in these days, i don't believe in myself anymore, i have no reason to, and i have a huge trust issue with people, and its starting to effect my friendships.

ahh i'm just one big ball of worry, confusing, anxiety, insecurity, and self hate at the moment

but its okay, because for once i've let out how i feel, and i think i feel a little bit better

i've been having a Taking Back Sunday Week, well, month. I've been listening to their music non-stop. and now i'm titling all my journals with a lyric from their songs? pssh wowww i have takingbacksundayitus. its serious too.

any way, i'm updating for a reason. warped tour, august 9th, i'm wicked excited, i finally get to meet, Underoath, Paramore, Chiodos, Boys Like Girls, BlessTheFall, EscapeTheFate, and a billion other bands i adore. I'm bringing my camera, so i can take some decent shots, cause last year i got wicked close to aiden, and i got a guitar pick handed to me by jake. so yeah. :]

its been a weird week, i must say, i've been going to bed at around 3, waking up at 12, its a horrible habit, and i'm gonna try to break it. :] not really, i could care less. but i am debating on becoming a vegetarian, i think it would be healthier and i'll be forced into liking more veggies and fruits, which i don't mind that much, its just i'm a picky eater..haha

so i'm in the mood to watch Aladdin, and i feel like i'm just blabbing, so until next time loves <3

"Stop me if you've heard this one before
The whole truth is nothing but a good excuse
So long as you don't torture me with my past
Let's be honest; a secret silenced is a secret safe

Reminders, they are not reluctant
So stop me if you've heard this one before
Sideways blinders,
I can't find a way around.."


okay so i guess i'm back on here..can't seem to ever stay away..

so not much has been happening.. i'm really quite uneventful.

but when something exciting happens, i'll write it here.

:] i promise.

Hokay, so this weekend turned out to be something else. it was'nt the weekend where i get to sleep in or anything, it's the weeked where i don't have breakfast, because there's nothing to eat, and i have to wake up early to visit family members, and i should probably go up stairs and get my mom's Mother's day card that i made, but it's too far, and too much effort.

and i've been bored all weekend...


blaah.

Hokay, so I'm back on livejournal. be cause my lovely Thea got a livejournal. =].

Tomorrow's mothers day...and i'm going to my grandparent's house, and today i am going out to lunch/dinner, for my Grandma's birthday,

so leave some comments.